'Planet of the Apes' RPG Probably Won't Let You Do The Musical, But I Guess It's Still OK (2024)

Tabletop News

A new Planet of the Apes role-playing game is in the works, but it doesn’t seem poised to let you play out the only relevant version.

Planet of the Apes has had many incarnations throughout the years. It started with a 1963 sci-fi novel by Pierre Boulle, La Planète des singes, which was then adapted into the 1968 movie featuring Charlton Heston and award-winning costumes.

After making half a Fast and the Furious series’ worth of movies, the public had grown tired of these damn dirty apes. But not so tired that there wasn’t a live-action TV series, followed by an animated series in 1975.

Then we languished in ape-less limbo until the 2001 remake starring Mark Wahlberg and not featuring Andy Serkis, who was presumably busy being Gollum. And that Tim Burton reboot (I KNOW, right?) had to tide everyone over for about ten years until Andy Serkis’ schedule was cleared up enough to do a Planet of the Apes movie in 2011, which is technically the 7th movie in the series.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes is an origin story reboot, and you have to understand that origin story reinventions were the order of the day in 2011. Hollywood was riding high on the success of the initial wave of the MCU. The Avengers hadn’t come out yet, but everyone was still not getting over how much money the Harry Potter movies had made, so naturally, everyone wanted their own cinematic universe come hell or high water.

And both came.

Enter the Animated Musical

But this exhaustive history elides the only version of Planet of the Apes that matters. You’ll note there’s quite a gap from 1975 to 2001. What kept audiences hungry for apes in the intervening 26 years?

None other than Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off! the animated musical featured inThe Simpsons’season 7, episode 19: A Fish Called Selma, originally airing in 1996. In the episode, Marge’s sister Selma marries everyone’s favorite celebrity they might remember from such films as P is for Psycho and The President’s Neck is Missing, Troy McClure.

Though the musical segment aired for a mere two minutes and eleven seconds, it was more than enough to keep the public hungry for apes. Sadly, this is the most important interpretation of the Planet of the Apes that the upcoming RPG in development from Magnetic Press likely won’t have rules (or musical accompaniment) for, though I would be happy to be proven wrong.

Planet of the Apes RPG in development from Magnetic Press

According to reporting from ICv2, Magnetic Press plans to base the RPG on the original half of the Fast and the Furious series and will come with “multiple books, a boxed set, and miniatures,” all of which will come in the form of a “pre-order campaign” which sounds like crowdfunding. But crowdfunding for something you already know you’re going to make.

Crowdfunding’s original purpose for people taking risks on products instead of using it as a glorified advertising platform to generate hype (and revenue) for stuff you were already going to make notwithstanding (and I say we should let it withstand, but that’s just me), the RPG is definitely coming soon. Per ICv2:

The game will be built on Magnetic’s D6MV System, based on West End Games classic D6 System, which was used for their Star Wars RPG. Magnetic began its use of the new system with Carbon Grey RPG, the first game in its Magnetic Press Play imprint.

So it’s not only a revival of the old-school films but an old-school RPG engine as well. At launch, there will be several products, including:

• Planet of the Apes Role-Playing Game Core Rulebook, a hardcover of over 300 pages, will feature cover art by famed comic artist Bill Sienkiewicz, and include all the rules, statistics, and lore needed to play the game.
• The Ansa Files is a separate sourcebook with references and resources specific to the classic films, novels, and comics. A Slipcase Set of the Core Rulebook and The Ansa Files will be available only through the pre-order campaign.
• Forbidden Zone Campaign Boxed Set will include a campaign and adventure book, unique maps and player markers, a set of 12 thematic “Alpha and Omega” 6-sided dice, a 3-panel Lawgiver Reference Screen with tables,, and a deck of game statistic cards.
• The Ruins of Tomorrow Miniatures Set is a range of plastic gaming miniatures and statistics cards for the various character types, both ape and human.

And yet, not a single mention of whether or not there will be rules for playing the piano when you couldn’t before. Nor, I hasten to add, does it say there will be mechanics for finally making a monkey out of someone?

As always, the important work is always left to the GM. Even so, look for the Planet of the Apes RPG in the not-too-distant future (assuming that civilization doesn’t fall, leaving only a destroyed Statue of Liberty behind as the only indication of former glory).